the beginning of the beginning

after taking a day or two for the news to sink in, i think i’m ready to sit down and write this. (i’m not)

my morning started off quite… differently. i usually loathe waking up early during weekends. moreover, i was so tired of waiting for uwc to get back to me. acceptances were being sent in ‘batches’ and this week’s batch had already received their emails. so when i woke up at 6:40 a.m. to my father reading, “dear mr. and mrs…” and the first few lines of the email, i naturally thought i was dreaming.

i am going to attend uwc mahindra college this year. and that’s so surreal. of course, my first reaction was to start bawling. this was followed by the call to my sister (who lives in the other hemisphere) and then phone calls to basically the entire world.

throughout the day, i could feel this tingling sensation at the small of my back; ‘this isn’t real’ it said. today i woke up and it is real. i feel as if, like a lot of things in life, this too is oxymoronic. this moment was all that i was ever waiting for but then there’s that sense of… i don’t know yet. i’ll stop sleeping under the ceiling i’m used to and i’ll leave behind my school, my friends. i’ll be moving out at fifteen (how do i even take care of myself without my parents, smh) but then i’m moving on to different things and that’s okay. i’ll live. and learn. and grow.